Ok. This post has absolutely nothing to do with fashion, and very little to do with being a big girl. Its just something on my mind so I thought I'd share!
I've always had zero interest in having children. They're noisy and smelly and obnoxious and they make you old. Thats at least how I see it anyway ;)
I always saw it as a blessing that I didn't want kids. With pcos it is REALLY hard to ever get pregnant and I was like well that's the one thing that's ok! It would really suck if I wanted any kids! Thank God I don't! of course, since it was discovered that I have pcos there have been A LOT of advances in treatmenst so it really isn't as big of an issue as it used to be.
I always looked at kids kind of something that ended your life really. I love adventure and being able to whisk off if I want to. How are you going to travel to NYC with a kid?! And good Lord! Disneyland! When you have a kid at Disneyland you have to do what they want! No more Space Mountain! No more Matterhorn! Just Dumbo. .. and Snow White.
I've never even really ever wanted to get married. I think the way I view marriage is more typical of a guys point of view. I have never been opposed to being with someone forever. I just don't think that kind of everlasting love and adoration and tolerance is something that comes a long for everyone. I cant even commit to a pair of shoes for more than a couple months... how am I supposed to pick someone to be with for the rest of my life?!
And don't get me wrong! I have always thought I would look just adorable pushing a vintage style pram with my high heels and an adorable baby in a cute little dress and Baby Dior Mary Janes... but you shouldn't have a kid just as an accessory right?!
And I absolutely love it when my friends have kids! Kids are the best people to shop for! The clothes are adorable and they never complain that they don't like it!
This was all until my good friend Elizabeth over at Pirates Prerogative had her baby...
I've known Elizabeth and her husband Joe FOREVER! I remember when they started dating, when they got engaged, their wedding... heck I would hope so since I was in it! Their relationship is the only relationship I have ever seen that was legit. They were absolutely totally an completely made for each other. They're both completely awesome, so I don't know why I was so surprised they made an awesome little munchkin!
I don't know what it is. Maybe it's that he's just such an adorable little gremlin, or the way he looks at Elizabeth with so much love. And hearing about him learning things and talking and saying "RAWR" when she asks him what a dinosaur says. Or just maybe it's just how now they've made a complete and total loving and happy family.
It's kind of made me start questioning the things I want out of life. Maybe I do someday want to settle down. Maybe I do want to find what they have... maybe a kid is something more than an adorable accessory and another person to shop for...
Thanks a lot Elizabeth!!
Showing posts with label pcos. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pcos. Show all posts
Friday, March 15, 2013
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Finding my voice
Hi! I'm Jennie Harlow! Its nice to Internet meet you! I'll bet you're wondering what makes me think I'm so special I deserve to have you spend your extra valuable time reading what I have to say.
The answer is absolutely nothing!
I'm just a not so normal girl living in a very normal world.
As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster.
Ok, that may be true, but completely besides the point.
Believe it or not, I originally had a much longer post, but... even I wouldn't read so much!
The long and the short of it is;
* I'm 34 years old, I live at home. This used to bother me, but with the current state of the economy, almost everyone I know moved home!
* I've gone to school for fashion and photography and I'm licensed to nail!
* I love fashion, music, designer vinyl toys and my dog Cooper
* Without my best friend Nick I would probably never consider the consequences
* I've worked at Fredericks of Hollywood for almost 4 years.
* I was once referred to at Fredericks as the boob whisperer. (i know my sizing!)
* Nothing makes me happier than making other people feel amazing
* I have a 2004 New Beetle convertible named Jett that's almost more trouble than she's worth
* Shoes and Starbucks are my twofavorite worst vices
* I'm very single. I don't even know where I'm going in life. How can I expect to make that journey while worrying about someone else?!
* Nothing makes me happier than when people think I'm from New York
* I live in San Diego and spent the better part of my early adulthood growing up in Hollywood
* I LOVE visual merchandising
* Old Hollywood glamour makes my heart sing
* I worship at the house of Christian- Dior and Louboutin!
* I have an etsy shop called Rhinestones & Bobby Pins with everything sparkly from
Burlesque outfits to awesome sparkly jewelry
* I have 2 amazing reality tv shows locked up in my head. .. just waiting for my big break to share them with the world!
* I'm still trying to figure out life
I think that's about all there is to know about me!
Oh wait! Much less importantly... Yes. I'm fat. I don't really like terms like "plus size" or "full figure". Lets just call it what it is! I have poly-cystic ovary syndrome. There are maaaaany many many things that this evil condition does to a person. It messes with your hormones, ability to have children, your emotional stability, your skin, hair, you can have ruptured cysts on your ovaries that make you think you're dying, and like for me... it can make you fat. It makes your body process foods differently and with all of the other imbalances, you kind of process them wrong. When I was young I actually had a doctor tell me I was lying about what I ate and how much I was exercising. Not much was known about pcos then. I've been on just about every diet plan, exercise plan, weight loss scam and everything in between, and half the time when people were losing 40 pounds a month for doing nothing, I would actually gain weight. Thankfully, A LOT more is known about it these days, and they're finding out diabetes drugs help with losing weight and there are fertility fixes and all kinds of great things! I heard about a woman who lost 180 pounds in a year with metformin! Talk about crazy! Every time I see a girl who visibly has signs of pcos i just want to yell "Go see a doctor! You probably have this!"
I'm not gonna lie. I wouldn't be mad about being a thinner version of myself. In fact, I see myself in my head as quite a bit smaller than I actually am. But what I've learned over the years is... I'm me. There isn't anyone else in this world just like me. I'm not a cookie cutter version of Barbie. I'm not your stereotypical human being. And I'm getting to be ok with that. It's been a long journey, but I'm starting to accept me for me.
Southern California can be a cruel and ugly place for a fat girl. But ya know what? Ya just gotta figure out how to make it beautiful. And that's exactly what I'm working on!
The answer is absolutely nothing!
I'm just a not so normal girl living in a very normal world.
As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster.
Ok, that may be true, but completely besides the point.
Believe it or not, I originally had a much longer post, but... even I wouldn't read so much!
The long and the short of it is;
* I'm 34 years old, I live at home. This used to bother me, but with the current state of the economy, almost everyone I know moved home!
* I've gone to school for fashion and photography and I'm licensed to nail!
* I love fashion, music, designer vinyl toys and my dog Cooper
* Without my best friend Nick I would probably never consider the consequences
* I've worked at Fredericks of Hollywood for almost 4 years.
* I was once referred to at Fredericks as the boob whisperer. (i know my sizing!)
* Nothing makes me happier than making other people feel amazing
* I have a 2004 New Beetle convertible named Jett that's almost more trouble than she's worth
* Shoes and Starbucks are my two
* I'm very single. I don't even know where I'm going in life. How can I expect to make that journey while worrying about someone else?!
* Nothing makes me happier than when people think I'm from New York
* I live in San Diego and spent the better part of my early adulthood growing up in Hollywood
* I LOVE visual merchandising
* Old Hollywood glamour makes my heart sing
* I worship at the house of Christian- Dior and Louboutin!
* I have an etsy shop called Rhinestones & Bobby Pins with everything sparkly from
Burlesque outfits to awesome sparkly jewelry
* I have 2 amazing reality tv shows locked up in my head. .. just waiting for my big break to share them with the world!
* I'm still trying to figure out life
I think that's about all there is to know about me!
Oh wait! Much less importantly... Yes. I'm fat. I don't really like terms like "plus size" or "full figure". Lets just call it what it is! I have poly-cystic ovary syndrome. There are maaaaany many many things that this evil condition does to a person. It messes with your hormones, ability to have children, your emotional stability, your skin, hair, you can have ruptured cysts on your ovaries that make you think you're dying, and like for me... it can make you fat. It makes your body process foods differently and with all of the other imbalances, you kind of process them wrong. When I was young I actually had a doctor tell me I was lying about what I ate and how much I was exercising. Not much was known about pcos then. I've been on just about every diet plan, exercise plan, weight loss scam and everything in between, and half the time when people were losing 40 pounds a month for doing nothing, I would actually gain weight. Thankfully, A LOT more is known about it these days, and they're finding out diabetes drugs help with losing weight and there are fertility fixes and all kinds of great things! I heard about a woman who lost 180 pounds in a year with metformin! Talk about crazy! Every time I see a girl who visibly has signs of pcos i just want to yell "Go see a doctor! You probably have this!"
I'm not gonna lie. I wouldn't be mad about being a thinner version of myself. In fact, I see myself in my head as quite a bit smaller than I actually am. But what I've learned over the years is... I'm me. There isn't anyone else in this world just like me. I'm not a cookie cutter version of Barbie. I'm not your stereotypical human being. And I'm getting to be ok with that. It's been a long journey, but I'm starting to accept me for me.
Southern California can be a cruel and ugly place for a fat girl. But ya know what? Ya just gotta figure out how to make it beautiful. And that's exactly what I'm working on!
Me in front of the Sex & the City Carrie Bradshaw apartment
New York 2011
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